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When I became ill with the immune system sarcoidosis in 2003, I was so distracted by the ‘guy with a girlfriend’ that even though I should have been focusing on my health, I was more interested on focusing on him as my only option! This is how I ended up in a number of half hearted relationships and yawning my way through many dates.

It was only when I ditched him that it occurred to me to start fighting for my survival and opening up my options. I don’t think I’ve admitted this before, but the last chunk of my relationship with the guy with a girlfriend, I think I wanted to win more than I wanted him.

For instance, if you’re sat in a booth at a bar or restaurant, it can be perfectly natural to touch her thigh as you’re talking to her (just remember to sit NEXT TO HER not opposite her).

If you kiss her before you get to your ‘sex location’ – her ‘anti-slut’ defences might come up. When you act this way OUTSIDE of the bedroom – it sub-consciously communicates to her that you’re gonna be a man who TAKES CONTROL inside the bedroom too.

2 Girls Teach Sex would be a good program to watch at that level to quickly and easily cover all the basics.

You can then graduate to a more advanced course such as Female Orgasm Blueprint or Revolutionary Sex later after getting some practice under your belt.

I craved love, intensely sought out validation, and privately lived with a black cloud over my head while I outwardly smiled at everyone.

But I had to be right so I sold myself short for several more months because of my pride.

Last week I met up with Baggage Reclaim readers both here in London and in New York and as I listened to stories from the mouths of women who deserve so much better, I wondered why so many of us sell ourselves short, loving men who don’t love us, loving men with girlfriends and wives, being verbally, mentally, and physically abused, being toyed with, used for sex, robbed of our dignity, and sometimes robbed of our money, health, friends, and family.

It felt like a lot and that I was working for the relationship – I was running on the spot.

It suited me to think I was unlovable – It was like giving myself license to be resigned to dating assclowns.

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