How to work with validating couples
Peter wants things done, but he expects to be consulted Peter expected Hedy to take care of the house, the kids and family matters, but got upset when she didn’t do it his way.
He also got angry when he wasn’t consulted before Hedy made decisions and took action.
The secret lies in discovering whether you have a 'validator' relationship or a 'battle type' relationship.
There is a balance between individual needs and those of the couple.Like the time she accepted an invitation to a party on behalf of them as a couple, but to which he didn’t want to go.Like the time when she put the food on the table without separate forks for each course.Volatile marriages have high levels of conflict and middle levels of happiness during the down times.Each person is more concerned with vindication of their own position rather than putting the unity of the marriage as top priority.